Send this to your worst client. Make them say it out loud.
- Best case scenario = they're cured.
- Worst case scenario = you won't have to deal with a douche for a client anymore.
And here is the text version.
The 12 Step Program For Problem Clients
- We admit we are bad at marketing - that our revenue has become unmanageable.
- We have come to believe that a marketer greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our ad agency.
- We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- We admitted to our agency, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact what we do wrong.
- We are entirely ready to have our agency remove our defects of character.
- We humbly ask our agency to remove our marketing shortcomings.
- We made a list of all salespeople we have harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
- We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our ad agency, praying only for knowledge of our agency's will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other people that suck at marketing, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.